A Lady Named Denisha Pietre and a Reflection for Today’s Senior Pastors Wives
If you’re a longtime reader of my blog, you may have seen this post from years ago about Denisha Pitre. At the time, I wrote it to honor how she and her then-husband handled a difficult season in ministry with grace, humility, and spiritual maturity.
Since then, I’ve learned that their marriage did not endure. I thought about removing the post altogether—but after some prayer and reflection, I decided not to.
Here’s why.
Christians tend to erase stories that didn’t end perfectly.
But life isn’t about tidy conclusions—it’s about the journey, the integrity along the way, and how we reflect God’s presence in our most human moments.
Denisha Pitre’s example still matters.
What she modeled back then is still relevant for senior pastors wives today: self-awareness, grace under pressure, and a genuine pursuit of God in the midst of public scrutiny.
So yes, I’m keeping the original post. But I want to contextualize it for today.
Let’s be real—marriages don’t always work.
Not because of sin or scandal, but because life is hard. Christian marriages, like any others, are vulnerable to miscommunication, differing values, and life changes that stretch even the strongest unions.
That doesn’t erase the goodness of what was shared or the faithfulness shown during the trying times.
I’m married now for the second time myself. I’ve learned that pretending the past didn’t happen doesn’t make me more spiritual. It makes me less honest.
Real Talk Here – Just Like Denisha Pietre
My first marriage is part of my story. I can’t—and won’t—delete it just to fit a perception of perfection. The same grace I’ve received, I extend to others, including Denisha Pitre.
From everything I witnessed during that chapter, she demonstrated something rare in our world: honor under pressure.
Back when I first came across their story, I was deeply moved.
I had stumbled on a sermon by Isaac Pitre, did a quick Google search (as one does), and found their transparent interview in Charisma magazine. They didn’t hide. They didn’t spin. They owned their story—one of hurt, healing, and trying again.
Denisha’s words from that interview still sit with me today:
“For all wives, but especially for pastors’ wives, you should learn not to be a clone of what you think a pastor’s wife should be. I urge women to look inward and discover who they are. Focus on developing that. Everything you need for your spouse is wrapped up in who you really are.”
Whew. That’s a whole sermon. And it’s still true.
As someone who teaches, writes, and coaches women in ministry, I believe this mindset is essential. Being a senior pastors wife isn’t about fitting a mold.
It’s about growing into the person God designed you to be—and serving from that place of authenticity.
We need more women like Denisha who show us how to be real, even when things get messy.
Her testimony wasn’t in the outcome of her marriage—it was in the way she honored God, honored her calling, and supported her husband during their time together.
That matters. That is integrity. And that is why she’ll always have a place in my “Hall of Heroes.”
We are so often tempted to define people by their present status—whether or not they’re still married, still in ministry, or still in the spotlight. But God doesn’t work that way. He sees the heart, the intent, the obedience.
I also know that some might read this and feel uncomfortable. You may wonder: “Is it okay to keep honoring someone after things didn’t work out?”
My answer: yes.
Why?
Because integrity doesn’t vanish with a relationship. Impact isn’t undone by a new chapter. The grace someone showed in a hard season is still a testimony worth celebrating.
Let me say this loud for the back row: there’s a testimony in trying.
So many pastors wives know what it feels like to stand by someone in the trenches of spiritual warfare. We’ve had to fight for our marriages, our identities, and our peace.
Sometimes it works out beautifully. Sometimes it doesn’t. Either way, it’s sacred ground.
And I want to say to Denisha—though I’ve never met her: thank you.
Thank you for showing us that transparency is strength. Thank you for modeling what it means to pursue God even when the story isn’t tidy. Thank you for that quote, which has inspired more women than you probably know.
To my fellow senior pastors wives, I encourage you to reflect on this:
- What part of your journey are you tempted to erase for the sake of appearances?
- Who have you quietly honored in your heart but never acknowledged because of how their story ended?
- How can you redefine what a testimony really is?
A testimony isn’t always about success. Sometimes it’s about survival. Sometimes it’s about trying. And often, it’s about the fruit we produce even in our wilderness seasons.
As 2 Peter 1:3 reminds us:
“His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.”
Read this on BibleGateway
That includes wisdom, discernment, and grace for the path ahead.
So yes, I’ll keep this post right where it is.
It’s a monument to what was, not in a nostalgic or idealized way, but in an honest and honoring one.
We don’t have to erase the past to protect the present. We can hold space for both. Just like Jesus does.
In Closing
To Denisha and every woman who has walked through ministry fire with dignity—even if the story didn’t end in fairy-tale fashion—I see you. God sees you.
Your example still ministers.
Let’s honor the journey, not just the destination.
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