Pastors wives cannot be responsible for other people’s expectations.
One of the biggest challenges of senior pastors’ wives is the bundles of expectations churches have for the woman married to the under-shepherd.
I always say just because I’m married to a pastor doesn’t mean I must do any one thing in particular.
It just means I’m married to a pastor.
No real or actual job description exists for a pastor’s wife, so churches need to be flexible and allow the pastor’s wife to pave her own way in ministry.
Complainers have existed since the beginning of time, Pastor’s Wife.
Remind yourself often: “I can’t win them all”. In other words, you’re never going to please everyone. Nope, the complainers will always lurk and peep.
For example,
– Some wish you had more education; some think you have too much formal “learning”.
– Some wish you had a job; others wish you did not work- so you’d be more available.
– Some wish you’d dress like a fashion plate; others wish you’d dress less flashy.
– Some say you’re too involved in church business; others say you’re not active enough.
– Some say your husband talks about you too much over the pulpit; others say “he never talks about his wife. What’s up with that?”
Want to be a stressed pastor’s wife? Worry about people.
One of the biggest emotional and spiritual prisons you can experience is rooted in the expectations of other people.
Nothing will cripple you more severely than caring too much about what others desire you to do or be.
This is true whether you’re a pastor’s wife or an employee at the local Trader Joe’s.
Honey, ask anyone over twenty-five and they confirm you can’t please everyone.
So true. Don’t try.
Here is what pastors’ wives should do:
Keep your eyes locked, glued and fixed on Christ, and secondly on your husband.
Everything else is sinking sand and misappropriated energy.
Elevate”people” above those two relationships and you’re positioning yourself for burn-out, depression and worse.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s wonderful to care about your church family. Cherish them. But, they just cannot occupy those top two spots (Jesus or Husband).
Really, Jesus is intentionally first for pastors’ wives.
In the end, the only thing that matters is God’s approval and how diligently you adhere to His laws and expectations.
He’s your fuel for everything else (including life with your husband).
Without Him; without His presence you’re spinning your wheels and constantly running on fumes.
You’re nothing more than a do-gooder (is that a word?) 🙂
Secondly, stand by your husband, pastor’s wife.
I know he can be a booger, but he’s your covenant partner.
Respect the covenant; regardless of his actions or behaviors (I mean day – to – day life actions).
Do it unto God.
Don’t focus so much energy on pleasing the “church people” that you lose your trust, closeness and relationship with him.
As my grandma used to say “people don’t have a heaven or hell to put you in, so don’t worry about them.”
Keep your eyes on what’s important, Pastor’s Wife.
There are lots of challenges of senior pastors’ wives encounter, but if you keep your priorities right, you’ll be just fine. Everything else will work itself out.
Keep your relationship with your husband “on point” and your one-on-one relationship with the Lord a priority and you’ll be just fine!
Here is something cool, I found online. I agree with everything but #1. In my busy life, you’ll get what you get. 🙂
The Pastor’s Wife’s Survival Guide: Top 12 Ministry Bloopers
Married to a Pastor.com is a blog for pastors wives focused on offering encouragement for a pastor’s wife as well as insight on being a pastor’s wife…from one pastor’s wife to another.
I know. I know, Pastor’s Wife. This image is creepy,
but it’s an attention-getter, right?
