Is there a job description for a pastors wife?

Job description for first ladies of the church and senior pastors’ wives

Is there an official  job description for first ladies
of the church and senior pastors’ wives?

Every search #seniorpastorswives or #ministerswives to see what people are saying about the subject?

I’m no guru. I don’t pretend to know much beyond the fact the sky is blue, my husband is a senior pastor, my name is Teri and we have 2 children.

Anything beyond those facts is subject to change at any given moment.  Church dynamics change. Church members pass on to glory, new ones come. Children who used to run to give you big juicy hugs on Sunday, grow up and head off to college. Life is full of change. I think that’s why there could never really be a job description for first ladies of the church and senior pastors’ wives. The roles change, the times change. Plus, the Bible is relatively silent about what it expects from us.

Hard to pin down what role a pastor’s wife plays

The roles for first ladies of the church and senior pastors’ wives are as different as the people who occupy them.  In the end, pastor’s wives must know their spiritual and natural gifts so they can figure out how to best serve the Body.  It’s important to know that whether you’re married to a pastor or not.

Start with knowing your gifts

Once you know your innate gifts, you can operate in them with confidence. It’s the trying to be someone else and do someone else’s work that breeds insecurity. If you’re not sure of your natural gifts as defined by science, visit my blog called Think Blink Learn and take the free personality assessment.  Myers-Briggs and Don Lowry have done the research, why not take advantage of it for the Kingdom of God?

Back to the description. Here is my “tongue in cheek” job description for a modern-day pastor’s wife.

Reports To:
Jesus Christ, God the Father, Holy Spirit and earthy Husband

Responsibilities of a First Lady of the Church  or Pastors’ Wife
Ultimately, the person in this position will act as one flesh to the personal and public personas of the senior pastor.  Her job is to support the man behind the pulpit while being his friend and prayer warrior at home. She does not cower to his earthly authority in ways that compromise her own humanity or Christian walk. A back-bone and strong sense of self along with Godly confidence is required.

She listens to his heart, guards his secrets and encourages his transparency at home and in the marriage.

She ensures he is able to share, vent and execute God’s agenda without domestic chaos and marital strife. She must also make sure he has clean underwear and a decent home in which to live.

Position Purpose and Summary
This position is responsible for bringing glory to God by providing support, encouragement as well as on-going love and devotion to her husband and the entire world.  She is also responsible for assessing the overall functionality of the home unit while creating opportunities sustainable bonding experiences and life-time memories.

job description for first ladies of the church and senior pastors' wives

Required Qualifications

A personal, salient relationship with Jesus Christ, at least 5 years talking to people; at least 10 years smiling at people and at least two years giving hugs randomly. Experience walking in fruits of the spirit preferred. Must be able to say “Good Job”, “God is in Control”, “You can make it” and “May we pray?” Thorough understanding and experience trusting God with difficult situations and handling “dooty” heads and mean people with love. Ability to set boundaries and the protect home (and family) from outside distractions.  Must be skilled keeping secrets and withholding information from gossips, busybodies and overall nosy people.

Hug your pastor's wife and tell her you appreciate her. Share on X

Essential Job Functions

Promotes cooperation and a welcoming environment for all who come in contact with her

Is flexible, open and receptive to new ideas and approaches

Never becomes enamored with his “persona” over his humanity (Note: He must always remain that guy you fell in love with. Never go Hollywood on him.)

Adapts to changing priorities, situations and demands

Enhances personal knowledge, skills, and abilities beyond just being “his wife”

Seeks opportunities to grow closer to the Lord on a personal level

Demonstrates effective listening skills

Demonstrates sensitivity to the needs of others

Offers assistance, support, and feedback to others to enable them to grow spiritually

Works effectively and cooperatively with others

Is approachable/accessible to others

Reaches out to be helpful in a timely and responsive manner

Strives to satisfy one’s external (the world) and/or internal (the home) customers

Is diplomatic, courteous, and welcoming

Exercises appropriate confidentiality in all aspects of work

Does not allow husband to compromise his physical, mental or personal health for the church
(Note: Ministry should not be a death-sentence. Jesus sacrificed Himself and doesn’t want pastors to kill themselves in service.)

Comfortable knowing her husband’s decisions before anyone else AND REMAINING SILENT!

Engages in problem-solving; suggests ways to improve performance and be more efficient

Willing to tell husband to “slow down” or “get rest”

Strives to achieve individual, corporate goals for the Kingdom of God – that’s  the job description for first ladies of the church and senior pastors’ wives

Hey, this is just me fooling around in an effort to make you smile (and maybe think).  There is no job description for us and there shouldn’t be. The only one who really could write it is too busy in heaven making intercession for us all.

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Married to a is a blog for pastors wives focused on offering encouragement for a pastor’s wife as well as insight on being a pastor’s wife…from one pastor’s wife to another.


  1. Wow, that’s quite the list. And I’m smiling 🙂 Blessing to you as a Pastor’s Wife. I can imagine it isn’t always easy, yet I know many are blessed by you I am sure! I have been blessed by the authenticity of pastor’s wives many times over. They have helped me feel a belonging in the church. And yes, thankfully we have Him interceding for us!

  2. Oh this really did make me smile!! One of my best friends is a pastors wife………. Oh my! Pressures!! I love the – hug your pastors wife to let her know she’s appreciated. Yes! ❤️

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