Sometimes, it’s wise not to show everything you know, pastor’s wife.

Very often, your husband will share with you very personal and sensitive information and it’s your job to guard it – to guard him.

I’m not perfect, nor have I figured everything out about this precarious role.

However, when my hubby shares sensitive information with me, it’s sometimes difficult to keep my “poker face” in public when you know such private data.

Difficult, but absolutely necessary for you to master.

I know this sounds weird, but I actually try to intentionally “forget” stuff I know when I see folks at church. It actually works too.

It’s like an exercise in mind control.

Did you know your mind can only think one thought at a time?

So, when you see people, you sort of have to replace incoming thoughts with something else.

For example, say I know a marriage is in trouble. On Sunday, the husband is walking toward me. I quickly and intentionally shift my thoughts from that topic to something in the present like “what a nice tie”.

I know it sounds hokey, but you can control your thoughts.

Try it sometimes, Pastor’s Wife!

Controlling your mind minimizes the chance of giving folks the “boo boo” sad face when you see them. Tell the truth, does it sound crazy?

Pastors' wives must be dependable when handling information. Be a vault. Click To Tweet

Trust is key when people themselves confide in you.

It’s critical people (and your husband) be able to trust you with very private information at all times.

Ministry is service and it doesn’t work when people don’t feel safe emotionally.So, be careful with data and information.

Pray for wisdom so you’ll know what to guard and when you need to involve another party.

As you know, many women in our position have wreaked havoc on congregations because of their prideful need to feel important and “in the know”.

That’s a pride issue.

It’s also rooted in insecurity. Grow past that foolishness. Trust and the senior pastor’s wife again are paramount to your effectiveness as a wife and a women in leadership. Compromise that to feel “important” to people and you compromise everything.

Your power comes from God and the Holy Spirit. You don’t need the esteem of people. If it comes, great. If not, so what.

So, shhhhhh….guard what you know. Keep your mouth shut. Don’t tell your mom, best friend, cousin, dad or aunt!

Amen?