Handling being church first ladies

Struggle of senior pastor’s wives – They are watching

A Common Struggle: All Eyes on you

It’s an unavoidable element of our lives. You know to what I am referring.

I call it the “eyes”.

After I first married my husband, I was amazed at the sheer amount of eyes affixed on me at any given moment during a church service. Any direction I looked, they were there…looking…watching…staring. I must admit, I was a little “weirded out” by all that attention during my first month as “First Lady”.

As the years went by, I began to discern the opportunity that lied behind all those”eyes”. It also helped as I got to know people and realized they were not lying in wait to eat of my flesh (boy, I’m dramatic today, aren’t I?) Either way, I saw an opportunity and I pounced on it!

Remember: to live is Christ.

All those eyes provide an amazing opportunity to model kindness with a responding smile or loving wink. It also gives you the opportunity for the “watchers” to see your love and support for your husband and the Body of Christ. And the most important, most significant is the opportunity for them to see you worship the God of the universe, Jesus Christ.

I can’t tell you how many conversations and questions my worship has sparked.

“Sister Teri, why do you close your eyes the entire worship service?”

“Sister Teri, you cried, are you having a hard time?”

Both inquiries gave me an opportunity to speak about the beauty and intrigues of worship. In both instances, my responses were something like:

“I close my eyes to focus as mush on my Savior as possible. He is worthy of it”

“Sweetie, I’m ok, just grateful, thankful and overwhelmed by God’s presence. But, even if I weren’t ok, I’d like to think I would still be engrossed in worship, ya know?”

Everyone doesn’t understand worship or even a Godly lifestyle. Not everyone was raised around a Godly woman like you. Even covering my knees in modesty (when my skirts ride a bit high) is a lesson.  I don’t wear one every Sunday, but the holiday pounds make it a necessity now.

So, praise God for those eyes on you!

The “onlookers” may be able to learn valuable lessons from watching you worship, interact and just “be”.

 As they watch, you model and you teach. Don’t feel self-conscious or insecure. It’s not about you.

In this role, the most valuable lessons you can ever teach are related to serving and magnifying The Lord Jesus Christ.

Amen or whatever?

66977EB: Married to a Pastor: How to Stay Happily Married in the Ministry - eBook Married to a Pastor: How to Stay Happily Married in the Ministry – eBook
By H.B. London & Neil B. Wiseman / Baker Books

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