No Church Drama

Pastors wives tips handling church drama – a pastor’s wife

Hey, Pastor’s wife! I’ve been up to so much since I last blogged on Marriedtoapastor.com!

First,I created a Christian women’s apparel store called GodsyGirl Shop!

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I’m loving it! I’m meshing my two loves: encouragement and creativity. I’ll be honest, it’s a learning process, but I’m really enjoying it all and the shop is doing quite well!

Check it out here!

You know, I’m all about encouragement. It’s my purpose. Creating fun, encouraging and (sometimes humorous) Christian tshirts is a perfect vehicle!

Anyhoo, you’re here because you’ve got church drama on your mind (or I put it there) and you’re interested in some techniques to manage it.

I don’t do church drama!

I must admit, I don’t deal wit it much. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m a little bit of a “doodie head” and keep my distance from the troublemakers or if it’s because my church is just perfect.

I hear ya laughing. No church is perfect!

Well, as the pastor’s wife you really might want to keep your distance too from potentially “ church drama”situations.

You won’t be able to completely dodge church drama.

Recipe for disaster!

Yep, drama is, for the most part, inevitable. Why?

Because people do “people things.”

Girl, you get more than one person in a room (or church)…ya gonna have drama or the possibility of it.

Think about it, you have all those varied personalities, personal agendas and spiritual needs…it’s a recipe for drama, right?

But, how do you stay above, ahead of, or away from it?

I’ll tell ya what I do. I hope it encourages you in some way. I welcome your thoughts!

1. Work the Chain

This one is ironic because a few minutes ago, I was listening to Tasha Cobbs Leonard’s song about the power of God to break every chain.

Frankly, I was heavy-hearted about something going on in my family, and I mean I emptied my spirit in that song. Blaring it full blast, I cried, prayed, praised and let it all go!

Anyway…in this suggestion for pastors wives, I’m talking about the chain of command at your church.

When folks deliver drama at your doorstep, don’t feel compelled to “take it on” by yourself.

Every situation is not yours to handle. Look to the leadership structure in your church.

Maybe ministers, deacons or someone else can handle the situation. Sometimes, I seek those people out so I can stay neutral in some situations. It really works…for the most part.

Here is the thing: anything that involves me will eventually involve my husband..especially if the situation turns nasty. As a result, I try to shield my husband from that stuff and the potential for it. So, me staying fairly neutral is a good idea at times.

What do you think?

Secondly, for drama-charged situations, always have someone else involved with you. It could be an older lady (of good reputation), a ministers wife, or a church mother. It could even be a pastors wife from another church.

Visit my shop! 🙂

“Help me with this church situation”

This is a “cover your patootie” move.

When I’m involved with something drama-infused in the church, I’ll often involve someone to “walk along” side me and for the benefit of the other person.

This way, no one can say I said something I didn’t say or did something I didn’t do. Plus, they benefit from more wisdom and covering than just mine.

Now, if it is someone I know really well and trust their integrity, I may act alone. But, if families are involved (within our church), I get help.

I never want one person thinking I’m on someone’s “side”. Know what I mean? It’s good to have more than one person involved.

Again, if it is someone I know or a minister’s wife, I move in with help and support…upon request. Also, I don’t involve anyone else without the full “buy in” of those involved. I get everyone’s permission prior.

Now, for my third suggestion.

You know what my final thought will be…

I pray.

I pray often. That’s number 3!

Without prayer, I simply cannot dodge or navigate the drama.

Prayer helps me, for one, be able to cast the burden of it all on the Lord. So I don’t carry it or worry about it.

Secondly, it helps me to know what to do, what to say, and how to proceed. It’s my own personal connection to my internal navigation system…the Holy Spirit.

When I neglect my prayer life, I have a way of taking on other people’s problems. Is is the same for you?

But, when my prayer life is strong and consistent, I’m usually not even tempted to stress.

Prayer…regular and consistent… gives me peace.

No way around it.

Prayer is the key to getting Christ-like direction.

For example, just the other day, I was stressed over …life. I felt pulled on, entirely too needed and very emotionally exhausted.

Suddenly, I assessed….no, I’m lying.

Actually, the Holy Spirit revealed to me my prayer life was raggedy. I was running on my own stream and it was exhausting me.

I quickly returned to my early morning prayer routine and peace soon followed. Problems didn’t go away, but I like felt…better.

So, that’s my game plan. Funny I used that term.

As I type this, I’m sitting in a baseball batting cage place waiting for my kiddo to finish baseball practice. I can overhear the coach sharing the strategies to condition them for the next game.

Summing up how I handle church drama as a pastor’s wife…

I guess this is my conditioning and prep “plan” for handling church drama:

1) utilize church leadership to handle stuff, when possible.

2) have someone…spiritually mature and trustworthy… to be involved as a witness, second set of ears, and an addition layer of support.

3) Make sure my prayer life and communion with the Lord is on point so you can have something to “give”, so you can get guidance and find direction to cast the care on Him.

Read my post – Don’t sweat the church members.

What do you do to handle church drama?

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