pastor wife freedom from tradition

Embracing the Pastors wife calling

Being a senior pastor’s wife is a deeply enriching yet multifaceted role that intertwines with both the joys and challenges of ministry life. Pastors wife calling is something that most people don’t talk about. It means embracing a position of leadership within the church community, where my actions and attitudes carry weight and influence. From organizing events for women to offering spiritual guidance, my role (and yours, if you’re a pastor’s wife) extends beyond the Sunday service, involving a continuous commitment to fostering a nurturing and welcoming church environment.

It also means supporting my husband, the senior pastor, as we navigate the responsibilities and demands of him leading a congregation. Whether it’s counseling individuals, participating in community outreach, or simply being a listening ear, my role is intricately woven into the fabric of life as a pastor.

Yet, being a senior pastor’s wife goes beyond the visible aspects of ministry.

It’s part of your destiny.

I find my ultimate destiny and life’s calling intricately woven into the transformative embrace of Christ. Following Him has shaped my journey, giving each step purpose and divine intention.

Then there is my life destiny, which is linked to being a senior pastor’s wife. I believe before the foundation of the world, God knew I would be in this place. He knew you would, too. He knew when you went on your first date with your husband.

If you trust Him and recognize his sovereignty, you know He ordered your steps before your legs could hold your weight.

When you were a little girl playing on the playground, He had His hand on you to do His work.

He protected our lot and our portion until now. That “lot” is being an amazing pastor’s wife. Read my thoughts about that.

Put some bend in your back, Pastor’s Wife

By “bend,” I mean you need to cultivate your flexibility so you can go with the “flow” of ministry life.

It means cultivating a spirit of resilience, as the role often comes with unique challenges and expectations.

Your plans will be changed when the congregation or ministry needs something.

You may have to take a back seat (for a short period of time) when life demands more of your husband.

Balancing personal needs, family life, and the demands of the church requires a delicate dance. It means finding strength in my faith, relying on a network of supportive relationships, and continuously seeking personal growth.

While it may come with its share of complexities, being a senior pastor’s wife is ultimately a calling that intertwines my life with the beautiful tapestry of the church community, and it is a role that I embrace with a sense of purpose and dedication. It is my pastors wife calling to be flexible and to embrace all aspects of it.

You’re not just “his” wife in your pastors wife calling.

You are to be one flesh with your husband, yet you are so much more than that.

Don’t limit yourself, your personal vision, or your God!

You’re NOT just an appendage of him or that, just that “first lady” suit you wear! Don’t reduce yourself to that.

If the church women wear purple on a certain day, that doesn’t mean you have to do the same. Maintain your own sense of self. Shucks, I don’t care what anyone says; I’m going to wear what I want. This is really a “thing” for me.

There are so many areas of my life I cannot control, but I can control what I wear. For instance, our church wears a certain color on the first Sunday.

Sometimes, I wear the color on the first Sunday a hot pink or bright orange.

It is what it is.

You have probably figured out I’m a pretty confident person.

It didn’t happen overnight, and I am confident because of one thing. My relationship with God and His power in me makes me “Boom”! I’m no better than anyone else but no lesser than them either.

You can be confident!

pastors wife calling

Pastor’s Wife … you do you!

Or, just because they say you should work with the kids every third Sunday (because that’s what the previous pastor’s wife did) doesn’t mean you have to do that!

God wants you free – free to express yourself. He died to give the pastor’s wife freedom from tradition, just like He did for everyone else. Your own personal pastors wife calling is yours to live and should not be dictated to you by other people.

Don’t be bound by stupid traditions or let people control you in that way.

Do what God wants you to do and be free of that mess! Walk out your own pastors wife calling as the Holy Spirit leads you.

Tradition was made for man, not man for tradition. Remember that. Don’t let your church or denomination’s traditions control or manipulate you.


Married to a Pastor is a blog to encourage, motivate, and inspire women married to senior pastors.

pastors wife calling

Tell me whatcha think...

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.