how a pastor's wife should dress

How should a pastor’s wife dress?

How a pastor’s wife should dress – boy what a thought.

I am perplexed by how many people concern themselves with how their pastor’s wife dresses.  I’m further confused by the number of pastors’ wives who allow that concept to consume their time. It’s a real “thing” for many women married to pastors.

My husband and I are stark opposites

My husband pastors a large Baptist church in the Midwest.  He, himself, is rather conservative fellow. He’s basically a “meat and potatoes” kind of guy. He leans toward grays, blacks – very little color. “Flashy” is what he calls a basic red dress or anything outside the neutrals. He’s something else. 🙂

But, me on the other hand, tend to gravitate toward the bright, shiny and noticeable clothing choices. I like to look fashionable while experimenting with textures, colors, tones and such.

how a pastor's wife should dress

Now, my style is neither the hats, nor the feathers or sequins. Oh no!  I don’t shop Ashro for Sunday suits. That’s OK for my sisters who go for that, but not my style. If you do like those types of clothes, be sure to check out Ashro if you have not already. My style is more casual like the  red jeans outfit above. Yes, that

how a pastor's wife should dress --- in a purple wig!
how a pastor’s wife should dress — in a purple wig!

was a Sunday morning.


From time to time, you will see me in a formal suit and pumps.  I usually look more like Miranda Priestly in the Devil Loves Prada than I do one of the Ashro ladies.  All in all, it depends on my mood. How you dress should be directed by how you feel and your personal style – not so much about what people expect of you.I’m so glad he doesn’t care how I dress!

Fortunately, my husband couldn’t give a flying fig how I express myself with clothes. He accepts me. I like that about him. But, others seem to be consumed with what I wear (or don’t wear) and how I look. This was really true when I was new to my church. I think some people had a vision of what they wanted me to wear and the sprawling hats I’d sport.  I’d get subtle comments, inquiries and even gifts of “preacher’s wife” clothes. It blew my mind how much they cared about my exterior without even knowing my interior.

Do you know what I mean? If I allowed their opinions to affect me; I’would have (and would) go stark raving mad! I know who I am in Christ and it has little to do with man-made expectations of me. This was the case before I married a pastor and it certainly the case now. I hope you feel the same way. Do you?

If I ever wonder if I’m too far left in my opinion, I ask myself the magic question.

When I’m unsure about an area of my life, I tend to ask myself one question: what did Jesus do when he walked the earth?

I know it sounds crazy, but I do the same with my clothes. I believe Jesus dressed so plainly that He blended with the people. Remember, Judas had to identify Him with a kiss for the Roman soldiers to know who He was. Jesus just blended with the crowd.

I’m a blender…

Blending in is good. That’s what works for me most days; however, on other days I like to jazz it up. Girl, my hair may be short one week, in a fro the next.  It may be blonde or it may have purple highlights. You just never know which wig I’ll wear. 

My church home is in the urban core and I think God placed me there for such a time as this.  So, as long as I don’t cause Jesus shame in my apparel; I think it’s all good. As long as I love His people with an open and full heart; it’s all good, and as long as my husband has that “look” in his eyes when he spots me….it’s really all good.

Agree? Disagree? No comment? Love ya either way. 🙂

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