How a 1st Lady Should Dress?

How a 1st Lady Should Dress?

How should a pastor’s wife or church first lady dress?

How a 1st Lady Should Dress?

I know we’re all still getting acquainted on this blog, but let me tell you, one word that describes me incredibly well is CASUAL.

Blame it on being the only girl in a brood of five or my intrinsic bent toward simplicity, either way; I am one of those people that enjoy keeping life simple. This also applies to my style of dress. Sure, I like any other girl, I like to look pretty, but my pretty must be uncomplicated, under-stated and done in 30 minutes!

Recently, I wore a dressy, attention-grabbing suit to a Sunday morning service. The responses were…well…I don’t know what they were.  They were dramatic and positioned me to ask myself “How a 1st Lady Should Dress?”

You would have thought I wore an astronaut space suit for all the attention my clothes generated that day. Some said they didn’t recognize me in my “Sunday going to meetin’ clothes”. Others said “now, that’s the way a first lady should dress!” similar comments just came and came.

Understand, no one was ill-intentioned or mean-spirited now was I was in any way offended. But it did make me think.

In the Black church community, many expect senior pastor’s wives to look a certain way – usually dolled up in a flamboyant suit and a big, over-sized hat. Now, I’m not knocking this tradition.

Hey, if that’s your thing, do you thing, Girl. But, it’s just not me and I’m very comfortable with being me.

In fact, I think I would limit God if I cared more about what people said about me or if I were an extreme people pleaser.

Surely, we all should exude a sensitivity and love that mirrors the heart of Christ, but at the same time, we have to know when to be who we are and who God called us to be. I believe being people-created, generated or driven will bring nothing but grief and threatened your destiny.

In fact, I’m rather proud of my reply to about the third person that said I “looked like a first lady”. My reply was a simple “Honey, if I came in here in my pajamas, I’d still look like a first lady because that’s what God has called me to be right now. Clothes have nothing to do with it”. It’s tight, but it’s right.

[The line to pray for my mouth will be assembling in the corner to the left.]

What do you think? Email me.

How should pastors wives dress?

Married to a is a blog for pastors wives focused on offering encouragement for a pastor’s wife as well as insight on being a pastor’s wife…from one pastor’s wife to another.



  1. As a kid,I remembered going to church feeling like an elephant was on my back. I always had to leave the house looking my very Sunday best: bulky beautiful dresses. Wearing pants was a no no. My hair had to be straight and going to church seemed like I lived in it. It never ended.From then on I vowed that I was going to dress MY way.

    Did that mean that I came in church looking like crap? No,I didn’t. I still dress with respect but I admit , because of the cold and / or insects,I wear long skirts or pants. In some churches ,I also notice that some pastor’s family get their clothes from expensive stores like Bloomingdales or Nordstroms.

    If they like spending their money at those stores,it’s their money but I’m a bit of a tighwad.. especially,now with pandemic out there. No ,I’m not do frugal that you can tell it’s such but I’m for quality and savings. I try to go to stores that look nice but at the same time, at a good price.

    I really don’t see much of a difference of clothes coming from a high end or a Consignment store. Quality wise, I’ve bought clothes from high end store only to come out disappointed. As a Black woman,I also think of how some of these same stores are getting rich off their consumers while being bamboozled with quality. How do I know? I had a sister and another Black man who worked for high end stores like that talked about the worthless quality of them and/ or how they may do a switch a roo on their customers who may be under the impression that they’re getting the real deal.

    Wearing high end clothes doesn’t mean it’s better,make you look good or take you closer to God. My crush sometimes wear expensive clothes and I admit wondering why? The pandemic has left people jobless who cannot even afford buying anything. I guess he would ask the same about me in my frugal spending!

    1. I enjoyed reading your comments! Samia, you brought up some amazing points. honestly, the truth of the matter is I don’t fit any of the molds that you mentioned. except for one: I do shop at Nordstrom but I did that before I married my husband. however, I’m not into access and expensive things unless they are items I really want and like.

      all that to say just like anything else being a pastor’s wife is really up to the person. it’s important not to let other people put false expectations on you to look or be a certain way.
      doing so well in and depression, Offense and a lot of stress.

      While I love the members of my church, I don’t care about what they think of me very much. I am who I am and I do what I do. As long as god yes please with me I’m fine my husband is fine. thankfully he doesn’t put any pressure on me to be or do anything either. The pastor is a huge church and yet drives a nine-year-old car. that’s just how we roll. we’re not into the material stuff at all even though we have the capacity to be.

      I do pray that God leads you in how to handle your crush. I KNOW HE IS SINGLE, if he is not, that is another situation altogether. But, if he is single, give it a chance if you have peace. Remember, you are in control of your environment. While the church is heavily cultured and used to certain behaviors, you do you! Thanks for you comment and for visiting! Be sure to visit too! That’s my other blog! 🙂

Tell me whatcha think...

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.