I had to send you some encouragement, pastor’s wife. Sis, can you believe all that’s going on these days??? As I type this, yet another update from our state’s governor is breaking through regular programming. Geez! Tension is in the air. It’s everywhere! Here’s the thing: I don’t think anyone and I do mean ANYONE can be unaffected by all this – including you and me. Whether it’s the fear this thing is generating or the climbing deaths stats, it’s a rough time. Well, today I thought of you. I even said a prayer for every pastor’s wife who reads this. This is a troublesome point in history, but rest assured. God’s still on the throne and He’s still in charge. With that, be blessed by what I titled this post: encouraging words for pastors wife. (ignore the weird punctuation that’s for search engines.)
As you read this, do know, that I am encouraging myself as well.
Our husbands are in strange waters.
I know I’m not alone in this. My husband is stressed.
It brings tears to my eyes watching him struggle and figure out how to serve God’s people during a world crisis. He doesn’t know it does, but it does. His stress affects me – whether he means to or not. Is it the same with your husband? Tell me below in the comments. I know I can’t be alone here! I’m grateful.
Pastors Wives …doing what we do…or not doing anything at all.
Boy, do they, now more than ever need us to be patient and confident in the midst of all this. Our husband’s load is heavy and, for the most part, it’s their load alone.
As for my pastor/husband, he tries to shield me from the stress he’s enduring. But, I know it is there. It is almost palpable. For me, I’m doing what Moses’ wife did – supporting from the background; finding my role – my job, my place – on the sidelines of his life. That’s my role, what’s yours?
I know all churches aren’t as large as mine and don’t have full-blown staff and dedicated church members keeping the engine moving forward. Mine does, so I can focus only on my husband and my home.
You and I married a “different” kind of men.
As your world is being turned upside down these days, remember, we married men of a “different” cut.
We married men with purpose and our purpose is supernaturally intertwined with theirs. That means, to some degree, so is our burden.
Pastors wives, we are now in the heat of a battle.
As we release our men to minister, I want you to know God sees you (and me) too.
We’re not forgotten or cast aside. We are in the front lines and everything we’ve endured to this VERY moment prepared us for what we are going through now.
You are equipped to get through all of it.
You’re strong enough to get through all of it.
You’re gifted enough and, in Jesus, you are just..ENOUGH!
No doubt, you may be doing absolutely crazy things – like holding cell phone cameras and producing live streams from the kitchen. But, you’re doing it and you’re figuring it out. No one is grading you. Don’t be hard on yourself either.
Look, you’re doing exactly what you need to do and God honors that. Don’t think for a moment He doesn’t. He sees you.
You’re resilient. You’re strong and, as this season is revealing, you’re stronger than you thought you were! Praise God!!!!
My encouraging words for pastors wife #1 is: You’re getting it done, Sister! Kudos!
At the same time, let’s be real.
You’re also likely a mom and most definitely a wife. If you’re like me, you’re also getting calls and texts from members who need prayer and want support.
If that’s not happening, when this is all over, work to build closer relationships with the women in your congregation. It’s the relationships you build in “good times” that position you to be a support in “bad” times.
At any rate, you’re doing great and God will give you the wisdom and strength to continue on until this thing is over.
My additional encouraging words for pastors wife are…
Once more: know you’re doing a good job!
No pastors wife is trying to “mess up” or fail during this season of global adversity! God knows you’re trying and doing the best you can … even if no one else tells you, notices, or appreciates you. He is with you and He approves of you.
Jesus values every one of your selfless efforts. You (and I) are doing the best we can with what we have right now. Please, do NOT be hard on yourself during this time. Do NOT! Have I said it enough?
Plus, you’re doing a good job in spite of this tortuous time.
Hey, in my opinion, you deserve points for simply “holding it together”! This is, for most of us, an unprecedented affliction. We have no roadmap on how to navigate it and it’s …hard!
Even so, you are still standing and, not only standing, you’re figuring it all out as you go. You get points for that for sure!
You’re learning a new way of managing family, ministry, and life as well!
That’s something to celebrate and praise God for! A lesser woman would have succumbed to despair and stayed in the bed.
Pastor’s wife, you’re keeping life moving and doing your best to be who God wants you to be in the season. Reading these encouraging words for pastors wife blog post is proof of that! You’re awesome, pastor’s wife!
Even so, I encourage you to do two very important things consistently until this is over.
First, find some time every single day JUST FOR YOU and God and, second, control your environment with a fierce effort. Guard it.
Example: Me and my prayer room
My prayer room (actually a guest room) is my main abode these days. You can see a pic of it here on GodsyGirl.com in my post called “A prayer for a strong woman“.
Anyway, it’s super cute and the perfect decor for a prayer room. But, nowadays, you can also call it my “panic room”. OMG! I love that movie! Have you seen it? Good one!
It’s genuinely true. As I feel angst, stress, or fear, I rush to my panic room, shut the door, and just pray for a few moments. Sometimes, I just sit and cry before the Lord.
I desperately need, NO require, that time alone with Him during these times.
If not, I’ll emotionally collapse. To be clear, I’m not talking about my normal, routine “one and done” sort of prayer time. Nah, I go in there frequently.
I have to survive this thing and I have to be strong for my family. I have to be strong for myself too! I can neither without a close connection with Jesus.
One of the most important encouraging words for a
pastors wife is to have a strong prayer life right now.
Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me.John 15:4
Example 2: Your atmosphere is vulnerable.
Atmospheres are like tofu. They take on the”flavor” of whatever you cook them with.
Say you have anxiety in the home, if it stays long enough, it seeps into the atmosphere.
This is why I control my environment (much to my teen’s chagrin) by playing praise and worship music throughout the day. I don’t make a big deal about it; I just put it on.
Sure, I let him watch his goofy shows and play his stupid video game too. He should be able to have that fun in the middle of all this. Don’t you think?
Nevertheless, it’s also important his spirit receives comfort. I want him to hear something the Holy Spirit can use later to give him peace.
Do you know how Holy Spirit uses scripture and songs to bring you comfort? I do.
Ever had a song “ring” in your spirit? That’s because you heard it before. Young people need that too.
I want Christian encouragement to ring in his heart too – especially when he’s scared or too proud to tell us.
My second bit of encouraging words for pastors wife: Control your atmosphere and keep it praiseworthy. Doing so will guide your mood and stabilize your emotions.
I think spiritual nourishment is like physical nourishment…sort of.
Don’t feel bad if you feel a little “numb” right now. This is a lot to endure!
Often, during times like this, words in your Bible can seem like a bunch of random words floating around on the page. That’s what pain can do to us.
My third set of encouraging words for pastors wife: Read the Bible whether it resonates or not. Every day visit it. Several times a day; read it.
See, when we eat, we don’t really think about the food’s nourishment or when those nutrients will help us, right? We just eat – usually because it’s yummy. Think about this: 3 weeks ago, you had lunch and thought nothing of it, right?
You just ate it and likely cannot even remember now what it was. But, the nutrients in that meal are sustaining you this very minute.
Same with the Bible, praise and worship, and prayer. They strengthen you, make you wiser and give you peace, long after you experience them! Does that make sense?
Yeah, Christian Lady, read your Bible, pray and worship often.
Take care of yourself
so you can take care of them.
When I first wrote this blog post, it did what so much of the world does with us. It focused exclusively on the pastor and too much on the expectations others have of us.
We don’t need that right now. That’s why I crossed out that part above. We already know what’s required of us.
So, I’ll say this as the final part of my encouraging words for pastors wife:
Stay encouraged, Sweet Christian Sister. You’re a critical part of this equation.
God is using you mightily in more ways than you know. Let Him do so however He chooses and take it all one day at a time.
Also, as I mentioned, spend ample time with the Lord in His presence to stay balanced and learn how to manage all of this.
Even if you don’t think you have time to spend with Him. Find time. Create moments. It may not seem like much is happening, but remember, He is nourishing you and strengthening you whether it feels like it or not. I know He is! It’s not a waste.
The future is bright!
One day, your husband will say how much you blessed him and helped him get through this time.
One day your kids will say how calm you were and how you trusted God through it all.
Women in your congregation will say how much your phone call, text, Zoom session, or Facebook message encouraged them.
Your extended family will say the same! They will say how your calmness, your prayers, and help brought peace when all else seemed chaotic.
Hang on in there, pastor’s wife! A powerful testimony is on the other end of this trial.
I love ya!