Being supportive pastors wives
during this crazy time is not easy, is it?
Being supportive pastors wives during this crazy time is not easy, is it?
Wow. Right, Pastor’s Wife? As I write this, it is an insane time in my country and all over the world for that matter. The country (and world) is in a panic, communities are anxious and everyone is trying to figure out what this all means for their own personal brand of “normal.” Even pastors wives are struggling with isolation, having kids at home, and trying to support their husbands to boot. Yeah. Being supportive pastors wives under normal circumstances is hard enough, but during times like it…is unimaginable and just…hard to get your mind around.
What is a pastor’s wife to do?
Honestly, I don’t pretend to have all the answers. No one does. What I do know, is none of this took God by surprise and He is still on the throne. His arm is not too short to save us. He’s got us all covered. Periodt (yes, I said “periodt” 🙂 *snap* *snap*
Again, I am not a guru pretending to have all the answers, but I will share with you what I AM doing to be a positive light to and stay connected with my church family during these times.
I welcome your comments below with ideas too!
For me, being supportive pastors wives means being real, genuine, and authentic.
That means I’m acknowledging the current reality.
The last thing people need is some serious, cognitive, hyper-spiritual person posing as a Christian giant criticizing them or dismissing their fears.
It’s intentional that I’m using harsh words to describe this sort of Christian. Hey, I’m on Facebook. I see folks posting all these “loaded” statements like “I bet people running to church now!” or “Now the live streams are full, but I wonder how many will fall off when this is over.” Who cares! They need to STOP!!!!
They are actually pushing people away; rather than drawing them.
I call those pious, judgmental Christians “sinner repellent”. Unsaved people smell the funk of their pride and run from them as diligently as they would they would a rattlesnake. I’m sorry, but it infuriates me. We should be like Jesus; He was approachable. He was like them and became one of “them” in the context of society.
Those snarky Christian comments are judgmental and lack compassion.
That is NOT what they need from you right now!
Look, MOST ALL PEOPLE ARE ALREADY FRIGHTENED! Even Christians are scared. That’s normal!
The way to comfort people is not to present God and Jesus as some sort of “I told ya so” type figure looking to lower the BOOM on them.
Get outta here with that.
Sure, you may feel less angst than others and that’s for a reason.
Here’s the thing: I do have a weird amount of peace going through this. Don’t be mistaken, I’m concerned and, at moments, afraid like everyone else.
But, when I am afraid, I just trust in the Lord as the Psalm says. Honey, let me tell you, several times a day, I run to my prayer room and just talk to God or allow the Holy Spirit to give me a verse or a word. I’m indeed affected by all this too, just not as panicked as I thought I might be.
It must be that whole “peace that passes understanding” promise.
Anyway, how arrogant would it be for me to go on social media telling people their faith is weak because they are, indeed, scared. No, Sis, that would be divisive and a little stupid.
Trouble + You = Confidence in God’s past record to fix, heal, remedy and control problem.
WHY you may be calmer than most…
One of the reasons I (and likely you) have a sense of calm is because you’ve maybe been through some “dootie” in your life and found God to be faithful time and time again. That experience builds faith and it builds Godly confidence.
Everyone hasn’t gotten there yet, and now they find themselves in the midst of a global problem, those who don’t have much to ride on need your encouragement.
Little do they know, God is using this to build their “faith” muscles too.
They don’t need judgment. They need understanding. They need your light. They need your hopeful words.
If you’re on social media, Pastor’s Wife…
Social media is an amazing tool for connecting with people. It really helps us and aids us in being supportive pastors wives. Of course, it’s not the same as face-to-face relationship-building by any stretch of the imagination, but, it can be very helpful building a bridge to the people in your church – especially those who are terrified right now.
Milk it for all it’s worth!
Pastor’s wife: social media has brought me in relationship with so many young women in my church.
Seriously. I’ve found they get to know me on Facebook, discover I’m not a “stuck up” boogie man and then, they approach me in real life. Boom! Our relationship ensues. It’s powerful and has happened many, many times.
My style may not be every pastors wife’s style. I’m “special” (i.e. crazy) 🙂
Yeah, I’m on Facebook often being super silly and endeavoring to break down every single misconception they may have about me or my role. In between, I’m peppering them with scripture, love, and encouragement!
Sometimes, I’ll post scriptures in my own words and they don’t even know it!
Like this one:
The above post was, as you know, Proverbs 24:10. See how I do it?
I want you to find your way and your voice. People are going to love you and love hearing from you!
Since this illness has pervaded our country, I’m intentionally on there (A LOT!) posting things in accordance with my true personality. About that: my personality is innately silly and comedic. I love to laugh and I hope and pray I can help make them laugh too.
Being being supportive pastors wives is going to look different for everyone. I’m just going to share what I do and what works for me.
You may have folks who don’t like you having your own voice/presence, etc.
Sure, you’ll have critical people who don’t approve of you being so “common”. Who cares! You be you! Those people can sit down and be depressed or go suck a lemon. You do and be what God calls you to do and be!
Being supportive pastors wives means being a “bright spot”
During this time when so many are re-sharing horrible, fear-filled news stories and stuff, you need to be on there sharing your heart and your Bible-based inspiration, if you can. This is a new day, Sis. The old way of doing things is over. Social media helps you effectively reach people in a way “real life” would take years to do.
Again, the key is to be yourself and to build rapport so you can say things that will bless and uplift, or at the very least, facilitate a smile.
Folks who “post scriptures and run” may not be as effective as folks who actually “do life” with people, actually “like” their pictures and posts, comment, and share their hearts.
Let me tell you something cool a more seasoned pastor’s wife did…
I’m 50 (i.e. old!)
The pastor’s wife of my youth is older than me. Likely almost old enough to be my mom. As a woman of God, Carolyn Cofield had (and has) one of the greatest spiritual impacts on my life than almost anyone else. The one who has had the greatest spiritual mark was my grandmother. Second to her, is Carolyn Cofield. I’ve written about her before.
In any event, just the other day, she posted a Facebook Live that was so anointed and so encouraging it turned me on my ear! As deep calleth to deep, her post spoke to the depths of my spirit and lit a “spiritual” fire in me. It shifted something deep inside me and did something powerful.
I tell you this so you don’t use your age as an excuse. If you’re younger, you can use this medium. If you’re older, you can, also, snatch it from the claws of hell to use it for the Kingdom.
Age ain’t nothing but a number and an insignificant one in the Body of Christ!
Secret: I schedule my social media “encouragement”.
This may be “a lot” and I may be doing what the young people call “the most’, but I actually schedule on my calendar to post on Facebook so I won’t forget. I haven’t always done that and I won’t do it forever.
But, since the thing has happened, I want to have a presence on social media so I can make folks smile, chuckle, or feel emboldened in the Lord.
You know what: Pastor gives folks comfort…just by seeing his picture…
I even posted a pic of my husband so the church could feel a sense of connection to him during this time. I think it blessed them. He doesn’t even know I did it, nor why. I just felt led to do it and I did.
For some church family, his smile will give some degree of comfort. Your husband’s may work to do the same.
Pastor’s wife…you’re a “spiritual” resource….whether you “feel” like it or not!
Inside you is “something” to bless… and you need to share it with your church members. Now is not the time to be “radio silent”. The quieter you are, the louder the negative voices and news reports may be to them.
Pastor’s wife or First lady, here are a few more things you can do to “connect” with your church family on Facebook:
1. Simply post something like: “I’m thinking about you all and praying for you. We are all going to be OK”
2. Take pics of a scripture. Share.
3. Take a pic from your favorite devotional. Share.
4. Share a pic of yourself when you were a kiddo.
I’m not doing that one here. LOL But, I may share something like this on my profile…one day. *hahaha*
5. Share encouraging videos or songs.
I love this Clint Brown song. It’s like a spiritual cup of hot tea on a cold night. I’m so dramatic. 🙂
6. Post a pic of something yummy you cooked.
7. Share a funny graphic. Such a great way to have a giggle with your church family and friends.
That’s it… what do you think, Pastor’s Wife?
If you’re already doing something to connect, please share below! I’m always looking for cool ideas to make my church family, family, and friends smile. 🙂
In conclusion…Be intentional, pastor’s wife. Be present. Be Bold and be fearless.
That’s my encouragement for you. Will you do it?