Advice for Pastor’s Wives

Getting along with women in the church. Not always easy, pastor’s wife.
Advice for pastor’s wives to love – event when it’s difficult.

Have you ever met someone you just didn’t like?

Tell the truth, pastor’s wife.

Sure you have. It’s part of our normal condition called “humanity”.

Now, here’s the kicker: have you not liked someone who attends your church?

Ouch, right?

That’s a horse of a totally different color, isn’t it?

I would love to say it’s easy to get along with every single woman 100% of the time – but it’s not.

Only the fake and phony portray such an image. But, the reality is that sometimes …every once in a while, God allows someone to enter your life that really “fries your cheese”. I mean they really, genuinely get on your nerves.

It could be their personality.

It could be their voice tone.

It could be their religious views.

It could be anything.

So what’s a pastor’s wife to do? Do we fake it? Do we avoid them or do we ask God to “help” them find another church?

You know what I’m goin’ to say, Pastor’s wife.

As with every challenge in life, we turn to the Lord in prayer. I know it sounds cliché, but prayer really is our magic bullet to get through this thing called life. If you don’t have an active prayer life, I can just imagine how much you’re struggling.

There is such peace in knowing He hears us. He loves us so much, so we can honestly tell Him how we feel. He knows anyway and still loves us. So, be honest.

You can count on Him to help you. He may speak to you in that still, small voice or direct you to just the “right”scriptures to give you strength and direction. Either way, He is there for you.

The answers and guidance we seek rests in the Word of God.

His Word tells us, admonishes us and commands us to love everyone…all the time – no exceptions.

We want to grow into mature Christians, so we have to obey His commandments. We want uninterrupted fellowship with Him, so we obey His commandments, We want His presence in and on our lives, so we obey His commandments. We gotta obey.

It may feel terrible at first, but obedience brings blessings.

Here is the real kicker: obedience has NOTHING to do with our feelings.

We will not always “feel” like doing what God says.

We will not always feel like loving everyone. This is why we can never let our “feelings” or emotions take the wheel. They are too fleeting. Too unstable.

Instead, we hinge our actions on that which we can wholeheartedly depend on – God’s unfailing Word.

So, how do we do it?

Here is how we do it: we simply walk in love – especially with that person that bugs us most. We do loving things for them, we pray for them until the feelings follow. It may take awhile, but they will.

That means you absolutely go out of your way to show kindness to them. It means you take them to a super nice lunch; work hard to bless them as often as you can. Be intentional about loving them and give them lots of hugs.

That’s how we do it.

I can’t tell you how many people God has helped me love using this very strategy!

The carnal part of your nature will want to avoid them, but don’t! Seek them out and pursue peace with them.

It will “feel” fake and pointless at first, but who cares how it feels.

Just do it.

Walk in love.

Show love.

Be love.

Not because you are a pastor’s wife, not because you are “first lady”, but because you are Christian. Your kind works bring glory to the Father and He will be pleased. Isn’t that life is all about anyway?

Wish there was an easier answer, a simpler solution. It will be hard at first.

But, you are on a “big girl” mission as a pastor’s wife. Much is given in your role and much is required – both in front and behind the scenes. So, you have it.  That’s my advice for pastor’s wives – love the unlovable and make it action-oriented. In the process, you’re flesh (carnal nature) will diminish and you’ll please your heavenly Father. It’s a win-win!

Amen or whatever?

“Work at living in peace with everyone, and work at living a holy life, for those who are not holy will not see the Lord”.Hebrews 12:14

“Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you.”Luke 6:28