Today I saw a segment promoting the new comedy film featuring “Grumpy Cat” on the Today show. The movie co-stars the cat saying grumpy things. Clearly, this is supposition because the cat cannot… Ummmm…..talk, right? Well, my sense of humor being what it is, I did some “supposing” of my own” So, I came up with a fun list of what a grumpy First Lady might say! If you don’t want to be a mean pastor’s wife, don’t follow this template.
Here is what I came up with:
1. “No, you cannot speak to my husband. He just got home for crying out loud!”
2. “I have no interest in attending your baby shower, Mary Kay party, Tupperware party or whatever money making scheme is popular now.”
3. “You’re scaring my kids! You may feel you know them, but they do not know you well enough to be spontaneously hugged, picked up, grabbed kissed and certainly not disciplined by you.”
4. “Seriously? You sit in my reserved seat or park in my reserved spot? You take my husband 80% of the time, impose on my kids, call my home at all hours, sometimes pop up at my residence, expect me and/or my husband to attend every funeral, every tragedy, every hospital event, and you complain I that have a reserved seat or parking spot?”
5. “Sometimes I don’t want to hear all your problems in middle Walmart.”
6. [to Hubby] ” Sure, you want me to attend this event with you. But, why not try staying home sometime, taking out the garbage, picking the kids up from school, folding some laundry, taking me out more often, stop snoring, try some Gas X and pick up your clothes from the floor. Maybe then your I will make your priorities mine, Brother!”
7. Yes! I wore that…AND?
Now, this is an exercise in humor and humanity.
Now, most of us are very honored to be married to great men doing great things. But, IF we WERE indeed “grumpy”, this is what we might feel. Totally hypothetical. In our role, we are indeed crucified with Christ and live sacrificial lives for the glory of Jesus. However, the humor imposed here had to make you chuckle or at least smile. If it did, then I was successful in delivering a quick smile to a self-less special woman of God.
God bless you this holiday season, First Lady. Be blessed!
Ok, we didn’t leave it here: View what a mature pastor’s wife would say.
Note: I left off at number 7. What other things might a grumpy First Lady/Pastor’s Wife say…hypothetically….?