“Describe your church’s culture?”
You want to know how he views his ministry. Then when you visit, you’ll have a way to contrast his reality from the actual reality. It’s best to visit once you’re engaged AND no one knows who you are.
“What is your work ethic?”
For sure, you can count on him replying “I believe in working very hard”. This is a great door opener.
It is incredibly important you inquire about how he balances work with family.
Probe the initial response to find out if you’ll spend most of your evenings and weekends alone while he is performing his version of “working hard”.
A wise and compassionate pastor skillfully balances home with ministry. After all, if a man can’t manage his home, how can he manage God’s people?
“What is your philosophy about interacting with women in the church?” No explanation needed.
“What role does God’s Word play in your life?”
Many pastors view God’s word merely as a tool to deliver sermons. Did you know some pastor’s don’t spend personal time with God? Indeed. Some devote time in the Word with only an external (delivering it to others) perspective. You want a husband that knows how (and desires) to lay at the feet of God in prayer and worship – during prayer time – when no one is looking.
“What role do you see me playing in the ministry?”
Find out his expectations so you can pray and seek God to ensure you’re in alignment with His plan for you.
Also, some pastors are threatened by a strong help-meet. Listen carefully as he describes how he sees you serving God in the ministry. Listen with your spirit and not your heart.
If, in his explanation, he doesn’t mention your gifts, strengths and anointing you might have a problem in the future.
“What do you believe about Jesus, salvation, the Holy Spirit and sin?”
Don’t assume you and he agree on these cornerstones of our faith. You’d be surprised (shocked) at how many pastors associated with known denominations have twisted philosophies about the afore stated.
Bonus: Check out his family structure. How does his family interact with one another? How do they treat you? Are his parents rude, bitter and mean? If so, you better know the environment in which he was raised will affect his ministry style, parenting style and how he relates to you behind closed doors.
Did I miss anything?